The showrunners of OUAT have stated unequivocally that
Regina and Emma will never be a romantic couple, and yet a massive number of
the show’s fans consider themselves SwanQueen shippers—they believe that the
two should be a couple, or subtextually already are.
Now, as I writer, I believe in text, and I’m not a big shipper
generally or someone who spends a lot of time reading into (or manufacturing)
subtext. But SwanQueen shippers have picked up on something that the writers
have no control over: chemistry.
Because let’s be real here. Mary Margaret and David have the
chemistry of a brother and sister who are five or six years old building forts
in the backyard. Regina and Robin have minimal chemistry—at best, they might be
an awkward couple at homecoming who tacitly agree that if they ever have to
spend time together again, it will be in the context of a group hang
(seriously, did they forget to screen test those two before they cast Robin?).
Emma and Hook, they do okay—maybe they’re the high school couple that’s so cute
together until college starts and they realize there’s a whole big world of
interesting people out there to explore.
But really, the only times sparks fly on this show (magic or
otherwise) are when Regina and Emma are on screen together. Writers can write
whatever they want when they’re huddled together with a bunch of laptops, but
once those words are in the mouths of living, breathing people, the writers
lose their control over the meaning of them.
In performance genres, chemistry is right up there with
remembering your lines—it’s everything. This is why Scandal falls so flat for me—Fitz and Olivia have zero chemistry.
This is why it surprised no one who saw Mr
and Mrs Smith when Angelina and Brad became a real-life couple. Every time
they touched on screen—hell, every time they looked at each other—you felt like
a dirty voyeur for watching. Buffy and Angel? Great chemistry. Buffy and Riley?
Co-workers who have nothing in common.
And Regina and Emma? They’re hot together. They stare at
each other’s lips, and they piss each other off, and they feel things for each other. Never mind how many times they’ve tried
to sacrifice everything for each other, how they so clearly understand each
other better than anyone else, how they share a son. All of this creates truly
excellent subtext. But the chemistry between them—that’s what seals the deal for SwanQueen shippers.
So, if we’re being real, we’ll admit that it’s never going
to happen. And maybe it’s in part because
of the chemistry between them. Maybe this Disney show on ABC is totally afraid
of chemistry, straight or otherwise, and that’s why the producers are okay with
Snow White and Prince Charming, who are supposed to represent the ultimate true
love, lacking it entirely. There’s a whole lot we can say about this
possibility—a whole lot about puritan values, our fear of female sexuality, and
the plethora of things that get hidden behind the phrase “for the children.”
But that’s a conversation for another day.
For now, I’ll just leave you with this image of steamy
on-screen chemistry and go imagine what kind of shenanigans Regina and Emma got
up to when that dagger changed hands.
